November 4, 2011
Heroes helped shape the yacht captains who attended this month's Triton luncheon, and in return, they aim to be role models.
But overall, they agreed there are fewer heroes for the generation of captains who follow them.
"We grew up with a keen sense of right and wrong," a captain said. "We had role models like the Lone Ranger. The bad guys always got what was coming to them and the good guys always did right.
“Now, we're just not so sure,” he said. “It's not so clear."
Individual comments of attendees of The Triton captains luncheon are not attributed to any one person in particular to encourage frank and open discussion. The attending captains are identified in a photograph on page A16.
Hero is a big word, one of the captains said.
"But it's basically when you do the right thing," he said.
"By definition, a hero is the guy who swims toward the sinking ship instead of away from it," another captain said. "It's someone who does things like defend someone just because they need defending."
A hero can also be someone who gives others a chance, hires them, teaches them or helps them, the captains said. The group was hesitant to call themselves heroes, though most admitted they had done those things for other people.
"If you save them from working at McDonald's, I can see how someone may see you're sort of like a hero," a captain said.
They didn't realize it at the time, but several captains said their hero turned out to be yacht owners and captains from early in their career, men who taught them lessons that continue to guide them today.
"I was 20 and he took me under his wing," a captain said of his former boss. "I wasn't the nicest guy in the world and … he kept me out of trouble. He turned me into a yachtsman."
Another captain remembered the man he considers a hero, the captain who hired him as a mate.
"He taught me how to fix things," the captain said of his boss. “The big part was realizing even though you don't have parts, you can still fix it and you don't have to call other people.
"Most importantly, I learned how to think," he said. "Because of him, I am not afraid to jump in. I'm grateful to him."
The captains talked about how family members used to be society’s primary inspirations, but as our cultures have changed, parents and grandparents are less available to teach what is considered proper behavior.
"My grandpa was an old salt," a captain said of his hero. "He came from a time of wooden ships and iron men. He said now it's iron ships and wooden men."
This captain learned how to behave by watching his grandfather.
"Even today I think, what would [grandfather] do? And then I wonder, should I do it?" he said. "But I'm still not my grandfather."
Several captains wanted to share the reasons these people earned their respect and admiration, but the luncheon didn't allow for so many tales.
"Our heroes are our mentors," a captain said. "My mentor? He was great. There's not enough time to tell you about my boss. It would take hours."
Doing right can be uncomfortable. It doesn't always leave a good taste in your mouth, but you still have to do it, a captain said. He told of an incident when the yacht he was driving hit an underwater obstruction and he called the owner. The captain told the boss that he took full responsibility for the incident.
"It was a hard pill to take," he said. "The crew asked me, 'why did you call him, why didn't you tell him an excuse, why didn't you wait to call?'”
The captain said the call was the correct response.
"The first officer saw my actions," he said, "and maybe saw it as a good example. I hope for their sake they notice. I am working to show I'm trying to do my best."
"Just because the majority doesn't see what's right, like bullying, you still have to stand up for what is," another captain said. "It can be unpopular."
There may be a price to pay for making the right choices, a captain said.
"You can lose your job while someone who doesn't do the right thing gets to keep theirs," he said.
"The hard part is that you can't really combat it by just being a good person," another captain said.
Although TV and radio played a part in the captains' lives, today's expansive media plays a larger part in shaping characters than ever before, a captain said.
One captain cited “Father Knows Best,” a television show from the 1950s, as the type of show his generation grew up with. The series featured Robert Young as a wise, diplomatic and loving dad who taught right from wrong.
"He had good characteristics and was man enough to admit when he made mistakes," the captain said.
And, on the other hand, he said there was Archie Bunker of the show “All in The Family” to show people how not to act.
"When you see that type of stuff on a regular basis, it has an affect on how you turn out," he said. "Who sits together for dinner any more? Who gets to talk about that stuff? Who gets taught good from bad?"
Contemporary media lacks inspiring personalities. A captain said people today tend to be interested in the shiniest new toy. That toy being the current model, singer, the biggest loser or the most extreme person on a reality show, he said. And these people are not necessarily heroes.
Generally, people should do the right thing no matter who they are. But in the yachting industry, several captains said crew should especially be responsible in their jobs.
"It's unbelievable what you see," he said.
People get comfortable slacking off, not doing anything, looking for others to do something, he said. It's easy to get into the rhythm of doing the wrong thing.
"It’s a there-are-no-cops-here-so-it-doesn't-matter mentality," another captain said.
Several at the table said captains themselves are especially visible. One of the captains said he saw it as his responsibility to show, by his actions, what he expects of others.
"It all trickles down, good or bad," a captain said.
"You just do it," another captain said. "You do the right thing whether you're watched or not."
"With crew you have to just do it, show them what is right," a third captain said. "Same with outside workers and contractors."
The captains discussed what lies ahead for younger generations.
"We need heroes," a captain said. "One way to help that is through education. Is it considered being a hero if you teach someone? Maybe."
A captain said he grew up fixing things if he saw they were wrong or broken, but he said it's hard to teach someone how to look and act if they haven't learned how to do it. But, he added, that you can teach someone if you have the time and care enough.
He pointed to a captain who had previously talked of his hero and said, "Like him, his mentor took him in and gave him time and interest. Mainly, that individual has to want to learn.”
Several captains jumped in with comments on what is different with how people currently learn.
"There is a big difference between what is common knowledge today because of the different ways people are getting their information," a captain said. "We're not always sure what they're exposed to."
"Don't you think it's the way people perceive education, that it's not as important?" a captain said. "You can learn many ways with the Internet, but there is less teacher interaction."
Another said it's how you teach younger people, and that it should be face to face.
"That works. And that's lost," he said.
One captain brought up a recent Triton survey on yachting traditions [“Traditions still part of fabric of yachting, July 2011, page C1].
"You know what is supposed to happen and how to do the right thing with tradition," he said. "The structure of tradition, the hierarchy, is broken."
"I think the definitions are clear,” another captain said. “I think people don't want to see them.”
The group was in agreement that, although the position is hard to fill, everyone needs someone to look up to.
"I've always tried to be a hero because I have always had heroes," a captain said. “We need an app for heroes."
If you make your living working as a yacht captain, e-mail us for an invitation to our monthly Bridge luncheon.
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